Day 119: Caught unaware

My coworker friend is in the process of losing her mother. It may be any day; it may be any hour; it may have already happened. I haven’t heard an update in the past few hours. When I learned that she had left work today to go be with her mom in what hospice had said was her last bit of time, a surprising emotion whelmed up inside of me. Yes, my empathy is way over-active, but besides feeling so terribly sad for my friend as she goes through this process of losing, I was suddenly back in the hospital room the night my own mom passed away. I could smell the room; I could see my mom struggling; I could hear my dad singing over her. I was holding her hand and watching her slip away, but I wasn’t ready. It’s crazy how your mind can carry you right back to a moment in time, even almost 18 years ago.

I’m not sure if anyone ever is truly ready to let go of a mother. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you have with this person who gave you birth, that loss is like ripping a piece of your soul away. It leaves a hole that is never really filled. Of course, the loss gets easier, but then a day like today comes up and surprises you. Out of the blue.

I miss her. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her. Ask her random things that I wonder about, that only she can answer.

So, as my friend passes through these days ahead, she’ll need lots of hugs. And a willing ear as she talks and remembers. I know, for one, I’ll be there to walk through it with her.

DAY 119 HOMEWORK: If you have your mother, treasure her, and the time you get to hold on to her. If you don’t have her here anymore, take some time to remember all the things you loved about her. That list of things will help you on some of the sad days that may just appear from time-to-time.

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