Setting up a lunch date is hard. You wouldn’t think so, because it could be as simple as dialing a number and saying, “Wanna go to lunch?” But, it can get complicated.
If you’re thinking about connecting with someone you don’t know well, you might procrastinate. Even emptying the garbage can can look more interesting than picking up the phone to dial that number. Why?
Could there be rejection? Worst case scenario: you don’t end up connecting, but then, so what? You can try again with someone else that looks interesting. Or, even a momentary rejection might not be long-term rejection. Maybe you get together with this person another time. You’ve got to stop over-thinking it.
Could the person you want to connect with not really be a kindred? Worst case scenario: you spend an hour or two getting to know someone who you may not want to befriend. No loss. (OK. I know some of you more cynical people are saying that the worst case scenario is that the person could be a serial killer and you will never see another day…but come on, this is an uplifting family-friendly blog.)
Could you run out of things to talk about? Worse case scenario: You do. There’s awkward silence and you feel embarrassed. That’s why you can’t worry about your list of things to talk about. Just ask questions to get to know the other person and conversation will follow. If there’s awkward silence, let it be. Conversation will pick up again.
Could the person really be a kindred? Worst case scenario: you find someone you really enjoy spending time with, learning from, and laughing with. (Stop there, o cynical ones!)
How cool would that be? You step out of your comfort zone for a few minutes, to face perceived tragedy and your over-exaggerated fears. You set up a lunch date and actually go out and do something that you enjoy. It gives you a sense of accomplishment, and connection, and maybe you make a friend, or strengthen an existing friendship.
It’s so worth it. Go out a limb…and take a picnic with you.
DAY 147 HOMEWORK: Think of someone to invite to lunch, and then pick up the phone and call her. You’ll never know the next part until you take that first step.