Day 343: How much is enough?

If you’ve been following since the beginning of my journey last fall, you know I’m a big fan of Brene’ Brown. She’s the author who got me thinking about how I’ve walled myself in by my perfectionism. This week, I’ve been reading her book called, “Daring Greatly,” and there is so much packed into the first few chapters that my mind is spinning. I’ll probably talk about what I’m reading for a couple of days here, because it’s that good!

What I’d like to call out tonight is a quote she used from another author, Lynne Twist, who wrote The Soul of Money. I have no idea what that book is really about (probably money?), but I was impacted by the following quote:

“For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is “I didn’t get enough sleep.” The next one is “I don’t have enough time.” Whether true or not, that thought of Not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of…Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds are racing with a litany of what we didn’t get, or didn’t get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to that reverie of lack…This internal condition of scarcity, this mind-set of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudice, and our arguments with life…”

I woke up this morning thinking about it. I went to bed late, very late, and woke up early. In fact, I’ve awoken early most days the past 2 weeks. Wacky dreams have made my sleep less restful lately.

I was so tempted to say that I didn’t get enough sleep, but when I was asked how I was this morning, I answered, “Great!” Sure I could have slept more, but I wasn’t going to mess up my day by not having enough of anything. I have more than enough. Even if I never have anything more in this life, I have so much more than many, many people in the world.

How easily we slip into, “I didn’t get enough sleep” (that’s a huge one for me), or “I didn’t have enough time” or “money” or whatever. It’s not something I’ve been aware of, but now that I am aware of how much it impacts the day, I want to be very careful of the “not enough” phrases that slip so easily into my language.

There’s a little soap dish on my windowsill, over my kitchen sink, reminding me that “I am enough, as is.” With little sleep or much, with little money or much, with little time or much, it is enough. I am enough, and my true kindreds will afford me grace as needed.

DAY 343 HOMEWORK: Let’s work on our “not enough” language. If it comes to mind, re-pattern the response. You are enough, as you are. Don’t sabotage that with your word choices.

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